That is the most polite way I can think of to describe it.
If you, a loved one or friend has been through a diagnosis of cancer (or any other life threatening disease), you know what that sick feeling in your gut feels like. Our minds quickly go to the worst place possible, and we quickly learn that it is a place we don't want to be at.
I watched that place with my Mom after diagnosis of breast cancer, and I didn't like it one bit. It seemed like in a moment that I wasn't looking, she had given up hope before her battle had even begun. It had begun with the removal of a picture from her desk. It was of her grandchildren. When I asked what had happened to it, she said that she couldn't look at it. All she could do was imagine not getting to see them grow up. This was unacceptable to me, this lack of fight. Knowing she had it in her and that she had just lost sight of it (because she had raised me), I bought her a gift. Actually, I made her a gift. I made her a bracelet that had all of the birthstones of her family, her reason to fight and beat it. And that she did. Those two grandkids were babies at the time. The oldest is about to graduate high school, and she welcomed two more along the way. Actually, four more if you count my girls!
When Pooh and Gracy were diagnosed, I had that sick feeling in my gut. With Pooh I was distraught. But, with a good team of doctors, Pooh lived almost 4 more years cancer free. With Gracy, I was a bit more educated and probably just more shell shocked (both times) than anything. She is such a momma's girl, that I learned early on that I needed to hold my emotions in and not let her see my concern. Those moments are for times she cannot see me or sense them. Because of that, and for her great and wonderful team of doctors, who we consider family now, she has been with me another year and a half. I am amazed with their fight. Both have given, or gave, their all! I feel that Gracy knows she is fighting something. She proved that as she got better this summer and came home and became her cute, ornery little self.
Our story is still being written. Each new day, I am blessed to have another with them. Not every story ends so well. However, most stories are filled with fight and courage. I have never been so proud of my girls, my Mom, and my friends who have fought cancer, looked it in the eye and said FU.
I was sadly reminded of that sick gut feeling a couple of nights ago. I had not been following his story very long, but, Lane Goodwin, a member of the Cardinal Nation family, lost his fight with cancer. He was 13. Our minds will find it hard to grasp that. Cancer in any form, shape, size or age is sad. Very sad. Even though Lane's story ended sadly, he did not go down without a fight. In fact, he fought this monster for two and a half years. Quite inspiring. Quite inspiring. I hope his parents, family and friends can continue to find strength in that.
Not every story ends well. However, most stories are filled with fight and courage. Lane did this. My Mom did this. My friends did this. My girls did and are doing this. As Ferris Bueller said, "life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." Sadly, that sick feeling in your gut makes you do that.
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